Adrianna - Natural 2 - Though I am Loney

Though I am lonely, I am never alone

I paced, attempting to catch my breath and get my body back to equilibrium after a well needed night run/walk on this weirdly warm “fall” night.  I could feel my shins splinting so I stretched each leg and arm, shook out my body and turned to go back into my apartment, shower, and catch up on homework and sleep. Suddenly, the wind caught my attention and literally put up a barrier between me and the front door. I stopped abruptly, turned around and noticed the swing as it gently waved at me to come take a load off. I moved quickly to the swing with the warm breeze blowing through my body and immediately felt calm. I sat down and scanned the perimeter expecting someone, anyone, to approach me forgetting what time it really was.

I sat. Two picnic tables; a trash can; a grill and bucket for hot coals; and a swinging bench where my feet were planted. Sunday had been full, just as the previous days winding down to the end of my undergraduate career. I went out with the intension of being by myself, thinking, preparing for the noisy week ahead, praying and spending quiet time with Jesus while he pushed me to run/walk as hard as I could. I didn’t want to interact with anything or anyone but little did I know I would be in communication and interaction with everything around me.

The night was warm cool and the wind carried leaves all across the lot. Finally I closed my eyes and just swung. In that moment I allowed myself to step across the threshold from the everyday busy monotony into the peaceful interaction of my surroundings that spoke louder than any professor, or friend directly in front of me. At every angle there were trees swaying to the jazz-like melodies of the wing. The leaves danced and the American flag snapped along too. The wind was even urging me to get up and do a little jig but instead I let my thoughts dance away with the leaves. The moon and stars were in attendance too as the spotlight on our dance floor.

Earlier in the week I had struggled with truly being alone. I was suffering with the ongoing battle in my head of wanting to be by myself but also needing to be with people. As I sat I thought about those rough couple of nights before and like the calmest arm of comfort around me came the phrase “though I am lonely, I am never alone”.  There is always someone or something with you or longing for your attention in a way that says I have never left you. Lately, that thing longing for my attention was people but tonight it was God. I felt that he longed for me to stop and enjoy the dance floor right in front of me. He wanted me to see the trees; hear the wind howling; feel the breath of the earth blowing; and be underneath the spotlight of the moon and stars. It took all of that.

For the longest, most enjoyable 37 minutes of any day I danced with the wind, trees and leaves underneath the moons glow; with the creator of it all.